Thanks Ever So

Remember the picture of Ann Coulter Time mag put on their cover, the one that made her look like she was about eight, sitting in Daddy's chair and playing dress-up in Mommy's shoes? The same photographer, it seems, has worked his magic upon Obama. This is not the magazine I saw this morning in the grocery store, but the photograph is very similar. The one in the store was even more pronounced. Shooting him from below, at a child's perspective, is intended to evoke the Lincoln Memorial, I suppose. I'm getting the Stalin vibe, too. that may be unintentional. And since it's in Time it will become part of the secular iconography of the left. We'll be seeing this shot angle over and over again, which suits me fine. I didn't see 'monumental' or 'heroic' in that photo. The angle is so pronounced it makes his body look disproportionately large. They tried so hard to make him look like Our Hero they ended up with Zippy the President. There's your metaphor.

Want Change, Do You?

I didn't talk about Joe, the plumber from Ohio because I thought he'd been done to death, poor thing. That was before I found out about this. It seems some bureaucrat at the State of Ohio has been looking Joe up on the Government databases and leaking that information to the press.

This man is not a criminal. He is not a terrorist. He poses no threat to the candidate Obama. Obama does just fine threatening himself, thank you. All he did was take advantage of a moment where he and Obama were in the same vicinity to ask the guy a question. Joe wants to buy the company he works for from his boss. The company makes more than Obama's caste demarcation line of $250k a year, so Joe as the owner would have to pay so much in taxes -- being rich and selfish now -- that it wouldn't make economic sense to buy the business. Joe the private citizen asked Obama the famous presidential candidate why this should be. Idiot Boy responds with some tired socialist exhalation about spreading the wealth, at which point every small business owner in America actually felt their intestines knot up.

So, how to salvage this situation. I know, let's investigate the crap out of this Joe guy. There's bound to be something embarrassing about him we can use to take attention off that lightweight doofus we're running for president. Look, he's not a licensed plumber. Maybe when his livelihood is wrecked he'll have less time to think of questions. And he owes back taxes. Hmm. Maybe a good foreclosure is what's needed to bring ol' Joe current with the great State of Ohio. You know he's divorced, right? The ex-wife is usually a font of salacious detail, especially if we camp out by the kids' school at pick-up time. They hate that. Let's see if he's behind on child support. They can yank your drivers license for that, you know. And while we're in there we can check to see if he owes for tickets or has any points against him. Please, please let him have a DUI so we can ask him if he was drunk when he asked that question.

It almost goes without saying that if a Republican presidential candidate had pulled these kinds of dirty tricks against a private citizen who had committed no crime the opposing party would be demanding he quit the campaign. But for some reason everybody's cool with the idea of investigating Average Dude as punishment for making a candidate embarrass himself by stating what he truly believes. Obama didn't think there was anything wrong with what he said until it was picked up by the news. This is all spite, all ego, and it's calculated to destroy a man's life. What if he had had an outstanding warrant? That's what they were hoping for, a chance to imprison a citizen who disagreed with their candidate. Why else check the Motor Vehicle records? What if it was a candidate you disagreed with trying that crap? What if it was you they were investigating? To quote a young lady in a conversation I recently overheard, "And he's not even President yet."


Oh, yeah. Silly me. Nixon resigned. In retrospect, he showed a lot of class that way.

More Projection Than Sundance

James Carville is an ass. There, I said it. I feel cleansed. There have been simperings in the media before this, but leave it to Mr. Matalin to reinforce the stereotype of the unreconstucted ignorant bigot cracker. But first, allow me to address the dolts at the L.A. Times, since their story came first.

This started a few days ago, the murmurings that Gov. Palin might not be following the literal word of the Bible by being submissive to her husband, as if this made her somehow less than Christian. First of all, I should like to congratulate the author of the article, Teresa Watanabe, for reading a biblical passage without vaporizing or whatever. Second of all, if she were possessed of shame, she should feel it for blithely assuming that telling those backward fundies that Miss Sarah wasn't toeing Watanabe's interpretation of some obscure New Testament sentence fragment would be all it took to send them for the tar and feathers. Or perhaps she had a good old- fashioned stoning in mind. At least it's plausible to the layman that Gov. Palin practices some sort of faith. Unlike some people. Anyway, it's not like Christians-- other than my ex-inlaws-- keep score about who's the most observant. Sort of not what it's about. The whole brouhaha was concocted in the fevered imaginations of the godless, who arrogantly assume they are the clever ones. I thought ignorance was supposed to be bliss. These people seem awfully chapped.

Speaking of suppurating pustules, James Carville achieved the dubious distinction of making a statement of incredible racism against both blacks and whites simultaneously. I didn't think I'd live to see it.

Now let me be clear here, if Obama goes in this race with a 5- point lead and losing this election, the consequences are -- bull, man. I mean I don't think that's going to happen, but I think David it's a point to bring up. But you stop and contemplate this country if Obama goes in and he has a consistent five point lead and loses the election, it would be very, very, very dramatic out there."

Al Gore was 11 points ahead at this time in 2000, by the way.

The consensus has been that Carville meant riots. So he must think of black folks as unreasoning beasts that can be called out like dogs to ravage the countryside if whitey wills it. At the same time, he seems to think that the specter of angry blacks breaking windows resonates on a visceral level with the white and uptight. In short, blacks are animalistic and whites are supposed to fear them. Now, I like antiques, but honestly. Step out of the wayback machine, will ya?

These are the people who want to lead us into the future? These unevolved cro-magnons who think everybody is as heart-rendingly, teeth-grindingly, head-poundingly stupid as them? You know what? Get out of the damn way, and be grateful that some people think all life has value, even as a bad example to to others.

Things to Look Out For

We have two seasons where I live: mud slide and grass fire. Grass fire season has been upon us since early May. For other parts of the country, the advent of summer is heralded by the issuance of a partial list of things allegedly caused by global warming.

I say 'partial' because it misses a few major quality-of-life issues. 'Excessive sweating' failed to make the list, as did thirst, funky smells, steering-wheel burns, popsicle cravings and leather upholstery adhesion. Also missing: Air Conditioning envy, Dog Wilting Syndrome and information overload from hearing all your neighbors' business due to open windows. I know; I was surprised they missed those, too, especially the sticking to your seat thing. I suppose that's what comes from allowing journalists to play with science. Important, life-altering details are overlooked. For instance, it was 104 degrees in my apartment yesterday and I couldn't get up to get another popsicle until after sundown.

I'm Just Saying, Is All

Nancy Reagan, who was never the president and never ran for the office, caught all kinds of crap for consulting with an astrologer. Candidate Hillary Clinton, who claims to have been "co-president" (although she may have meant to say "-dependent") copped to channeling Eleanor Roosevelt. No word on if she was hoping for fashion tips or dating advice. Her critics had a field day with that. And now we have the boy genius Obama, who's campaigned in 57 of our 58 states and yesterday demonstrated that either he doesn't know what Memorial Day is or that he possesses a sixth sense. And unless you listen to AM radio you've heard nothing about any of it. Weird.

Pimp My Rally

Here's a picture from the Obama rally in Portland, OR last Saturday. That's him climbing up to the dias, I suppose. Pretty impressive crowd. You'd think they were there to see a band or something...

They were. The Decemberists, a local favorite and nationally known indy folk/pop/rock/alternative group opened for Obama. Free admission, natch. The band's named in part after the Decembrist uprising in Russia and they usually open their shows with the Soviet national anthem, but they're pretty mainstream. They've been profiled on NPR and everything.

All the media outlets covered the rally, but no one thought to mention the reason why so many people were there. 75,000 people would not have assembled just to hear Obama exhale hope and change all over the place. You know, if I was the Decemberists I'd be steamed. Here they are trying as best they can to make a go out of the one job they're suited for (I've dated a lot of musicians. It's the only employment they're suited for) and they land a career-making gig, attracting a crowd of more than 75,000 -- two football stadiums' worth -- and no one even mentions they were there. Bummer.

Just Plain Sad

Judging by this list of 2007's top 10 most controversial ad campaigns in England, we won't have to worry about them resurrecting the Empire anytime soon. They're much too busy complaining about TV commercials that "might discourage mothers from breastfeeding" or contain "a depiction of a threat of violence and was therefore irresponsible and condoning bullying." That's not the same ad, by the way.

Also, there's an ad for the Sun newspaper that drew complaints for being too racy. No, really? A British tabloid with a picture of a mostly naked woman? Whatever group that offended must have moved to England recently...

I Suppose "Murdering Crapweasels" is Out.

Style tips from our enlightened betters at the Associated Press. It would be funny if I didn't think it might actually kill us to be nice.

Some do's and don't's from the National Counterterrorism Center:

_ Don't use the term "jihadist," which has broader religious meanings beyond war, or "mujahedeen," which refers to holy warriors.

_ Do say "violent extremist" or "terrorist."

_ Don't use the term "al-Qaida movement," because this makes al-Qaida seem like a legitimate political movement.

_ Don't use "Islamo-fascism" and other terms that could cause religious offense.

_ Do use the term "totalitarian."

_ Don't label groups simply as "Muslim."

_ Do use descriptive terms to define how a group fits into society. For example: South Asian youth and Arab opinion leaders.

_ Don't use "caliphate" when explaining al-Qaida's goals, as this has positive implications.

_ Don't use "salafi," "Wahhabist," "sufi," "ummah" and other words from Islamic theology unless you are able to discuss their varied meanings. Particularly avoid using "ummah" to mean the Muslim world, as it is a theological term.

The LAT Picks on the Cripple

Ralph Vartabedian (ralph.vartabedian@latimes.com) is an extremely tough man. He laughs at danger with a boisterous, hearty guffaw. He thinks those guys on "Deadliest Catch" are pansies, that oil rig workers are mincing pantywaists, that the ice road truckers need to suck it up. He must; he also thinks John McCain, a fighter pilot who was shot down and spent five years as a POW in Viet Nam (thank you, sir), isn't disabled enough to rate a tax-free disability pension. After all, McCain has said he felt well enough to hike in the Grand Canyon. One wonders how ill one of Ralph's children would have to be in order to miss a day of school. I don't think chicken pox would cut it. Just out of curiosity, does John Kerry get a pension for his heiney-full of rice?

In the same story, Vartabedian worries that McCain might be too disabled to be President, given his history of skin cancer. One of the Left's secular saints, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, was wheelchair-bound from polio. He seemed to work out OK enough. John Kennedy, a fellow veteran, had back trouble. Some days the pain was so bad he could barely cheat on his wife. So which is it? Is McCain too old and broke down, or not old and broke down enough?

Thanks? For the Help?

Popular Mechanics helpfully lists the ten most likely terrorism targets.
As a bonus, the comments section has a full list of secondary targets volunteered by the citizens who live near them. What further proof is needed that the GWOT is making progress than the big brains who read PopMech totally spacing on the fact that NYC and DC sustained damage to their infrastructures not so long ago.

Industrial Poetry

Fred Schoeneman posts on Blackfive about the surprisingly male former editor at Wine Spectator and current L.A. Times editorial writer. Matthew DeBord clutches his tasteful strand of pearls in distress at the mere sight of General Patreus:

"There he sits in elaborate Army regalia, four stars glistening on each shoulder, nine rows of colorful ribbons on his left breast, and various other medallions, brooches and patches scattered across the rest of the available real estate on his uniform. He even wears his name tag, a lone and incongruous hunk of cheap plastic in a region of pristine gilt, just in case the politicians aren't sure who he is."

I think that's called a uniform, Mattsy. I hear all the soldiers wear them. Or as Schoeneman puts it:

"Your attempt to portray Gen. Petraeus as a chickenhawk is the weakest of all arguments especially coming from someone who could only charitably be called even a girly man. Go back to your fern-filled loft and compare notes on the latest swill turned out by the grape-stompers. You need to leave the important business of who shall lead our country in war to those whose concept of it has progressed farther than fashion commentary about a man whose glass you are not
fit to fill."

What he said.

Now, where would they get that?

OK. I am no scientist, a fact which shall become abundantly clear. According to this AFP story Columbian officials have obtained a sample of the uranium FARC had for sale. The depleted uranium. Of course the press misses the point slightly. They're all worked up over where it ended up when they should be asking from whence it came. I doubt it fell off the back of a truck.

The stuff that comes out of the ground is like diesel fuel. They pick the dinosaurs out and there you go. In order to get fissionable material the uranium must be refined, like gasoline. What's left over after that is your depleted uranium. There aren't very many places in the world that have the necessary equipment to refine uranium. Columbia ain't one of them. Russia is. China is. Iran could be. Us, too, by the way, and we might not even notice (or report) 110 pounds of the stuff missing. But Russia, China, and Iran have all been trying to establish themselves in the Western Hemisphere. Towards that end they've been loving up Hugo Chavez, who probably thinks he's people now. So did one of those three arrange for FARC to have depleted uranium or did FARC get it through Chavez? Or did it come from somewhere else entirely?

Uribe has FARC pretty well whupped. The attempt by the media to make them out to be super-scary terrorists with nukes, IMO, is designed to build their morale and make them out to be serious people engaged in a civil war instead of what they actually are: a cross between Jonestown and Deliverance. The question that needs answering is where the stuff came from. Those people are trying to start something.

Extremely Creative Writing

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0325081sabatino1.html

This is a story about some oaf incarcerated in Florida, I think, who for reasons known to God alone would like to insinuate himself into the murders of some rap 'musicians' some years ago. Big whoop. Even as a pudgy white boy, do you need street cred if you're off the streets? Just asking. He lied to the L.A. Times about it, and they ran with the story without checking the facts. Again? Yawn. Some of the purported evidence was in the form of FBI reports that turned out to be fabricated by the oaf himself. OK, neat. Shows initiative. TSG lays out in minute detail how these reports differ from real FBI reports, in case you wanted to know how to avoid making the mistakes this brain surgeon made. And now you have my attention.

Exactly how retarded are the people at TSG that they'd spell out effective methods for forging FBI reports? OK, the mug shots are cool, and I loved WMOB, but there is such a thing as being too hip. Saying that the reports were forged is one thing. Leaking exactly how on the Internet? When your stock in trade is dissemination of authentic (public) legal documents? Leaving aside the myriad nefarious uses to which people could put that knowledge, didn't you just make your fact checkers' jobs like a million times harder? How long till this bites you in the behind?

Shoot, shovel, and shut up.

One of the arguments made by the limp-wristed surrendering class for giving up on the Global War on Terror is that our actions only serve to create more jihadis. Kind of like Mongo from Blazing Saddles, the huge caveman-looking guy who terrorizes the town. Gene Wilders' character says,"Don't shoot him, you'll just make him mad." I'm not saying jihadis go around hitting horses in the face and knocking them down or anything. They have San Francisco "peace protesters" to do that for them. You never know which way a horse is going to fall.

Anyway, it turns out even a blind hog finds an acorn once in a while. They were right. Some of our actions do, in fact, encourage more acts of terror. According to researchers at Harvard University, yet, when the media cover criticism in the United States of the war, or public opinion polls about the conflict -- which always seem to say that the public is against the war -- these media cycles are followed by an increase in the number of attacks on civilians and U.S. forces in Iraq. They've even come up with a snappy name for it -- an "emboldening effect."

So when your elected representatives blather on about how they support the troops but not the war, when some poisonous harpy from CodePink gets invited to a congressional hearing so she can get hauled out screaming on CSPAN, when every network wails and moans about this or that milestone casualty, the world is, in fact, watching. Watching and planning. When the media gives jihadis the impression that public sentiment is against the war, then more Americans and more Iraqi civilians die. Not that they care.

Oops.

The eponymous semiliterates over at Yahoo! posted this picture of NY Gov. Spitzer in their "News Photos" section Note the party affiliation.

Oooohhh, Shiny....

The Gov. of NY got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, as it were. Maybe you've heard. We've all seen the various press conferences with his wife standing stoically by his side. Some people say she looks steamed. To me it looks like she's trying to remember if they had a prenup. We've all seen pictures of the allegedly sweet young thing he threw it all away for. You may even have heard her sing. Admit it. Like Patsy Stone from "Absolutely Fabulous," I too long for the days when scandal girls were gorgeous and silent. Here's my question, though. When will somebody notice that in 2004 as AG, Eliot Spitzer prosecuted one call-girl ring while procuring for himself the services of another? And that he engaged in money laundering to hide the activity, one he's put people in jail over? You'll pardon me if I don't hold my breath.