Oh, Really?

http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2009/11/09/taking_liberties/entry5595506.shtml?tag=mncol;txt

Justice Dept. Asked For News Site's Visitor Lists

..."the U.S. Department of Justice sent a formal request to an independent news site ordering it to provide details of all reader visits on a certain day..."

Here are some of the headlines for that day, just to refresh the memory: Link1 Link2 Link3

This administration's Justice Department issued a grand jury subpoena to Indymedia.us. The DOJ also said not to tell anyone about the subpoena without their permission. Not how it works. The DOJ can't subpoena a journalist without express permission of the Attorney General. At the time the subpoena was issued -- 1/23/09 -- there wasn't any Attorney General. They asked for every piece if information Indymedia had about every computer user who logged on to the site on 6/25/2008, from ISP number to SSN to shoe size. The DOJ is only allowed to ask for information that directly pertains to an investigation. The person who had the records was informed of the subpoena by Indymedia. She should have gotten served personally. That means a knock on her door like in the movies (or maybe your personal life, sorry) and a guy leaving a copy of the papers with her. This is something you learn the first minute of the first day of law school, and when Indymedia promptly squawked, the subpoena was withdrawn.

This isn't a case of bad lawyering. This isn't amateur transition-team behavior. This is how an oppressive government operates. We're going to stomp all over your civil rights and don't you tell anybody about it unless you want something worse to happen to you. We won't tell you what that is, but trust us, it will be worse.

Impotent bullies.

Somewhere in an underwater grotto...

...a fig-eating ape is rolling on the ground, laughing.

Classy, Classy CBS

Imagine spending heaps and piles of your parents' money to get a degree in communications from some ivy-swathed institution Back East. Through family connections or dumb luck, or even through working at it really hard you land what you're told is a coveted intern position at CBS. The future looks bright. Then Dave happens.

If you are a female person, your phone, computer, facebook, etc. are clogged with strangers asking you if you're doing Dave. I'm sure it doesn't even matter whether or not you intern for his show; it's enough to work in the same building as his staff. If you're a male person speculation trends more toward the sinister. If the Tiffany Network is cool both with David Letterman and a news producer diddling the help, every male employee of the network must be considered a potential episode of "Mad Men."

I don't think the ladies involved will sue for sexual harassment. Dave's main main squeeze got her law school paid for. Picture phones are handy. What I want to know is, what's the redress for everyone whose resume is now a dirty joke because they work for CBS?

Thanks, Al! Kisses, Sonia.

I was reading this article on American Thinker about how Obama only wants to do the fun parts of his job. That got me thinking about Al Franken, who only wanted to be a Senator for the stationery. Franken reminds me of the cute puny girl from "Survivor," the one they keep on until the final four because she's no physical threat and she'll go along to get along. Al's a jerk, though, but instructional. Remember during Justice Sotomayor's hearings when he asked her a question about Perry Mason. Oh, Al, you big silly. Here's why he did that. It wasn't to mock the proceedings, or to highlight the folly of Minnesota voters. It was more infuriating than that, even. It was just so Al Franken would have remarks recorded in the Congressional Record.

Franken is a cruder, low-rent version of Obama. Which must mean Obama's also the puny girl. Al dances with them that brung him. Franken's committee assignments are the Judiciary, Health, and Aging, which are a big deal, as well as Indian Affairs, which is not so much. Sorry, Indians. Y'all might make youtube, though, when Miss Franken asks during a hearing if you'd mind troubleshooting his email. Bet me. He's a seatwarmer. He could be replaced by a paperweight and he knows it. What's more, he doesn't care. He'll be their reliable swing vote as long as he gets perceived benefit, which for him consists mainly of the job title. The ladies at 14th and O have more self-respect.

But we know who's running Al.

Rape rape

My first ex-husband was a connoisseur of barbecue, and he had a theory. The best BBQ joints were the ones that had a cartoon pig on the signage. Little race-traitor cartoon pigs waving, smiling, welcoming you in; "Come on and eat me! I'm tasty!" He was right more often than not. I find myself thinking of that when I hear that Debra Winger thinks Roman Polanski shouldn't have to serve his sentence for raping a 13-year-old little girl because he's such a genius and the crime would be to rob humanity of his work. Debra Winger is still alive. Who knew? I thought Whoopi Goldberg had a regular gig on one of those daytime chat shows that are the reason why men think women are stupid. Her daughter had a kid at 15, so I can see why Mama's cool with statutory rape. Oh, and Woody Allen? You are so not helping.

Duane Chapman made his career when he snagged Andrew Luster in Mexico. Luster's from a movie family, like Polanski, and both are very wealthy. He was convicted of the same thing Polanski was, too: drugging and raping young females. Luster even filmed these encounters, just like Polanski did. Luster fled the country rather than serve his sentence, like Polanski. The difference is that it was proven that Luster did this multiple times while Polanski only incriminated himself once. Unless you count Nastassja Kinski, and why wouldn't you, she was 15. And Luster went after grown women while Polanski savaged a little girl. So why is it that Luster gets all the bad press and Polanski gets all the fawning? Luster can't hand out work for dried-up old husks like Debra and Whoopi.

If this wasn't Roman Polanski, artiste, with champagne and Quaaludes, but instead Roman Polanski, diesel mechanic, with hard lemonade and GHB would there be any question about wanting the guy buried under the jail? Even though the poor woman whose life he altered thirty years ago 'forgives' him? Forgives him. Right. Five hundred paparazzi in your front yard and the phone ringing off the hook with everyone you've ever seen on TV wanting to know why you want to torment poor Roman. For God's sake, the man won an Oscar! What have you done? Nope, no coercion there. Again.

Someone I work with said it would be funny if Polanski ended up in Corcoran State with Charlie Manson. I think it would be funnier if Phil Garrido was his celly.

Life's Enduring Mysteries

I'm a woman, have been for years. Thank you. I care about clothes. Not what I'm wearing, mind you; I'll wear stuff I found in the street. Other people's clothes. The second most poorly-dressed woman in public life is the hostess of The Biggest Loser. That blue number she wore for the season opener? Just because the poor thing is blond is no reason to dress her like CBGB's-era Debbie Harry, OK? That's just wrong and she should renegotiate her contract. And speaking of people who are clearly dressed by angry, colorblind drag queens, I may have figured out what the deal is with Michelle Obama.

The First Lady dresses terribly. Everything fits poorly, is inappropriate for the occasion, or just plain bizarre. I don't think at this point she picks out her own clothes, because she has to have seen pictures of herself. I think people around her are afraid to tell her anything negative. I also think Mrs. Obama's a pretty smart cookie. Every time she goes out the door the media go wild praising her fashion sense and the internet goes wild coming up with new, even more unflattering adjectives with which to describe her... attributes.

So when Ahmadinejad lets slip that Iran is building another nuclear reactor and that "it would definitively be a mistake" for Obama to say anything about it, it's time for Ms. Michelle to slip into something ridiculous and close the streets during rush hour to pick up some produce. Everyone will spend the next news cycle yapping. OMG! Her shoes, her weave, her expression, her butt. Can you believe she went outside like that? How much was that bag? Oh, yeah. We were talking about something else, weren't we? Right? Who can remember?

Michelle is a helpmate, a team player, a nice, old-fashioned girl and a good little wifey. She's the magician's assistant.

Showtime at the Apollo

Before he arose from the waves on a clam shell to do us all a big ol' favor by becoming our leader, Obama told us rubes he'd put all non-emergency legislation on the White House website so we could take a gander at it and have someone explain the gist of it to us if necessary. I can think of a great reason he should revisit that specific lie. He doesn't read what he's signing. That's right. His approach to legislation that affects millions of Americans yet unborn is the same one I've personally applied to leases, tax returns and divorce settlements.

The press and other unreconstructed partisans ( the wage slaves who don't have anything saved up to lose) have a keen interest in helping Obama look less like an ass. They'd soil themselves at the opportunity to read Big Man's paperwork. If there was anything hinky -- like language that cancels out any recently lifted Executive Orders, say -- they'd let him know. During business hours, of course, not on weekends, holidays, or Wednesday nights. They can leave a voicemail at Treasury or something.

Or maybe someone could sneak Obama's resignation into a farm bill or a bill designating the week of June 21st as Mildew Awareness Week. Think of it. We could have him out by Labor Day.