Saturday, October 25, 2008

Want Change, Do You?

I didn't talk about Joe, the plumber from Ohio because I thought he'd been done to death, poor thing. That was before I found out about this. It seems some bureaucrat at the State of Ohio has been looking Joe up on the Government databases and leaking that information to the press.

This man is not a criminal. He is not a terrorist. He poses no threat to the candidate Obama. Obama does just fine threatening himself, thank you. All he did was take advantage of a moment where he and Obama were in the same vicinity to ask the guy a question. Joe wants to buy the company he works for from his boss. The company makes more than Obama's caste demarcation line of $250k a year, so Joe as the owner would have to pay so much in taxes -- being rich and selfish now -- that it wouldn't make economic sense to buy the business. Joe the private citizen asked Obama the famous presidential candidate why this should be. Idiot Boy responds with some tired socialist exhalation about spreading the wealth, at which point every small business owner in America actually felt their intestines knot up.

So, how to salvage this situation. I know, let's investigate the crap out of this Joe guy. There's bound to be something embarrassing about him we can use to take attention off that lightweight doofus we're running for president. Look, he's not a licensed plumber. Maybe when his livelihood is wrecked he'll have less time to think of questions. And he owes back taxes. Hmm. Maybe a good foreclosure is what's needed to bring ol' Joe current with the great State of Ohio. You know he's divorced, right? The ex-wife is usually a font of salacious detail, especially if we camp out by the kids' school at pick-up time. They hate that. Let's see if he's behind on child support. They can yank your drivers license for that, you know. And while we're in there we can check to see if he owes for tickets or has any points against him. Please, please let him have a DUI so we can ask him if he was drunk when he asked that question.

It almost goes without saying that if a Republican presidential candidate had pulled these kinds of dirty tricks against a private citizen who had committed no crime the opposing party would be demanding he quit the campaign. But for some reason everybody's cool with the idea of investigating Average Dude as punishment for making a candidate embarrass himself by stating what he truly believes. Obama didn't think there was anything wrong with what he said until it was picked up by the news. This is all spite, all ego, and it's calculated to destroy a man's life. What if he had had an outstanding warrant? That's what they were hoping for, a chance to imprison a citizen who disagreed with their candidate. Why else check the Motor Vehicle records? What if it was a candidate you disagreed with trying that crap? What if it was you they were investigating? To quote a young lady in a conversation I recently overheard, "And he's not even President yet."

Oh, yeah. Silly me. Nixon resigned. In retrospect, he showed a lot of class that way.