Wednesday, March 19, 2008

If you can't trust a bunch of coke-dealing terrorists, who can you trust?

"Colombian police charged Monday that they had found evidence on rebel computers that Venezuela has been funding Colombian leftist rebels and that the rebels were trading in drugs and uranium." -- Earth Times dot org, March 3, 2008

Drugs....and uranium? Please. Did they carry it around in the car trunk like in Repo Man, where they pop the lid and there's this bright light and the dude melts? Do you know how much uranium you'd need to build a nuke? About 11,000 pounds. And it takes around a year to refine. How much did they have for sale? 110 pounds. But that's not the funny part.

They were probably going to sell the uranium to Hugo Chavez, an enthusiastic consumer of FARC's other cash crop. The man cops to chewing coca leaves on a daily basis. Call me a cynic, but I think he's trying to establish plausible deniability for being nuttier than squirrel droppings. He's been FARC's most vocal booster (wonder why), even going so far as to tell the UN they should be taken off the terrorist watch list. That way they can proclaim themselves to be a real army with negotiating rights and whatnot. If the UN goes for that I think we can pinpoint the origin of most of the pharmaceuticals in NYC's water supply. But I digress.

FARC was asking $2.5 million per kilo for the uranium -- or 1000 times the cost of a kilo of cocaine. Columbian uranium sells for about $250 per kilo and in its natural state is too inert for even a dirty bomb. If Chavez was the mark -- er, customer, how funny is that, getting gouged by your so-called friends for low-strength product? After all he's done for them! They must know something about him the rest of us don't.